You never signed up for this, did you? The day may come when you feel stuck with all that being a caregiver requires of you. Surely you had other plans – like your own life, right? But some things just seem to fall into our laps. We may even check the mirror periodically to see whether there is a blinking light on our forehead that says, “I’ll do everything!”
Telling someone else honestly that it’s tough, or that you don’t understand why things are happening the way they are, or even that you don’t know why you have to be the caregiver are all ways of admitting the anger you may feel. Actually, it’s healthy to acknowledge your anger and frustration – as long as you are not directing it toward the person(s) in your care. Also make sure that it’s not destructive to anyone else, yourself included.
I often tell friends or acquaintances who are grieving to call me and scream into the phone if they need to. Admitting pain and anger rather than pretending everything is okay allows you to move on. After you’ve found a healthy way to admit the anger and release it, (notice I’m not including my phone number on the internet), take a deep breath and pray for the strength to go on. You are still very much needed.
Care For The Caregiver 
This is so important. I’m sad to say that I once was on the receiving end of a caregiver’s anger when I was in the most vulnerable state I’d ever been in my life. It’s so important to remind people to not only acknowledge the inevitability of anger at having to sacrifice your own life to take care of someone else’s, but also to remind them to please not direct it at the person you’re taking care of.
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It’s sad you had to experience that, Lynn. But it sounds like you were able to realize the anger was not directed at you completely. Still, it had to be hard to receive. I appreciate what you share from your perspective. Thanks.
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You’re welcome, Ardella. I did realize what the anger was about. It was difficult, but I wasn’t so totally absorbed in my own plight that I did not see the stress and strain my situation was imposing on someone else.
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